"Wall-E": Global Warming for Children

The reviews of "Wall-E," (Disney/Pixar, directed by Andrew Stanton) were uniformly ecstatic.   "…'Wall-E' is one for the ages, a masterpiece to be savored," marveled Robert Edelstein for NY Magazine.  "… [Wall-E is] a masterpiece of feature-film animation," gushed Robert Fox for TV Guide.  "Wall-E" is easily the best film of the year," purred Tom Charity for CNN.  And so on.  And so, I packed my kids into the van and off we went. 

And what I had hoped to be a fun filled, escapist bit of summer fare turned out, instead, to be a tiresome, slow moving, and rather depressing 97 minute piece of global warming propaganda that I, and especially my kids, couldn't wait to end. 

The film is ostensibly a futuristic love story between an old clunker of a robot with binoculars for eyes named 'Wall-E' (for Waste Allocation Load Lifter Earth Class) and the high-tech, state of the art 'Eve' (for Extraterrestrial Vegetation Evaluator).  

Wall-E lives on Earth some seven hundred years after it has been abandoned by humanity, presumably after "we" destroyed the poor planet in our pursuit of mindless consumerism.  What's left of humanity now lives on a luxurious space ship called the Axiom, careening about the universe, waiting for life to return to its former planet. 

The Earth, seven hundred years later, defines Al Gore's vision of our future; it is a bleak desert of a planet, devoid of life, and filled with garbage left behind by an uncaring, materialistic civilization ("us").  Someone forgot to turn Wall-E off, and he has continued collecting trash all these years, compressing it into little cubes that he has dutifully piled on top of one another (as he is programmed to do), forming vast uninhabited cities of eerie skyscrapers made of junk.  He goes on trash collecting forays accompanied by his pet cockroach, apparently the only actual "living" creature left on Earth.  

Eve appears on the scene.  She is a fetching, oval shaped, robot beauty sent by the mother ship, the Axiom, to search for signs of life.  The two begin an unlikely courtship in rich robotic brogue, crooning and chirping at one another.  When Wall-E shows her his latest discovery, a tiny plant he's placed in an old leather boot, the spell is broken as her mission directive is engaged.  She seizes the seedling and returns to the Axiom.     

When Eve and Wall-E appear at the Axiom, the movie transitions from an understated robot love story to a humorous but scalding parody of modern American society.  After seven centuries on the giant pleasure ship, everyone has been reduced to blubbery dolts, floating on hovering recliners staring at TV monitors, consuming burgers and shakes - a Huxleyesque Brave New World.  Surprise - they look and sound just like Americans.  

Eve presents the evidence of plant life on Earth to the obese human commander who warms to the idea that the planet may once again be inhabitable.  The space ship's computer system opposes the captain's plan to return home and a mutiny begins.

The movie does have strong points.  The relationship between Wall-E and Eve is touching as they communicate with otherworldly, "automated" charm and almost no dialogue.  There are whimsical moments, unusual characters, and beautiful visuals, and a plausible plot line; but the movie is simply over laden with partisan freight that ultimately detracts and flies way over the head of its target audience.

To begin, it is an undisguised endorsement of Al Gore's dismal vision of a planet set aflame by the fires of carbon belching American capitalism, a slice of agitprop disguised as a children's movie.  In Wall-E, it apparently became so hot that the human race had to skedaddle, leaving behind a planet of simmering sand, a seedling, a robot, and a cockroach.  Yes, indeed, we are damned, all of us, and, if you hadn't noticed, Global Warming Hysteria (GWH) is alive and well in Hollywood. 

Then, there is the elitist liberal vision of Middle America.  Yes, the movie seems to say, we Americans bowl, drink beer, shop at Sam's, cling to guns and religion, are fat, gorge on fast food, and watch TV.  Aren't liberals supposed to be the ones who defend the "common" man, not ridicule him?  

And what of the grim picture of Wall-E forming vast cities of compacted garbage, left behind by hapless, consumerist humanity?  So, now, the enviro-socialist nags want to scold us for owning cars, iPods, and cell-phones. 

As for the rapture of the critics, let us take them at their word that they were smitten by the film.  But let us also mention that, in general, the same liberal media that is smitten by Barack Obama, arguably the least qualified individual to ever seek the Presidency, is also likely to embrace movies trumpeting left wing causes (even when flawed).  

In the process of depicting the Global Warming Apocalyptic Doomsday End Time Vision (GWAD-E) of a swinish American culture and reckless American entrepreneurialism undomesticated by eco-evangelists who would tax, regulate, cap, trade, and strangle economic activity to the point of oblivion, Disney/Pixar has produced a dreary film that is heavy on political baggage and light on magic and inspiration. 

And, oh, the ultimate critics, my kids, couldn't stand it.